When a woman and a man get married, they go into a binding covenant. The Bible literally says that they are now one flesh (Genesis 2.24). There are many great resources to help us to not only have a lasting marriage but a thriving one. However, one key element to having a marriage that is strong and enduring is simple. It is not about putting the husband first or putting the wife first. It is about putting the marriage first.
When we put the marriage first, we objectively look at what is needed in the moment, circumstance or season. Sometimes it means that the wife’s needs become the focus, and other times it means the husband’s needs become the focus. Since the man and woman are now one flesh, when we serve our spouse, we are in essence serving ourselves. We are ensuring our peace, joy and growth when we put our spouse’s needs above our own during certain times.
Putting our marriage first will create an atmosphere of selfless serving that will promote a healthy relationship. It doesn’t mean our marriage will be perfect or that we will not go through difficult times. It does mean, though, that when we endure challenging seasons, our marriage can stay united because of the process of putting the marriage’s needs first.
Also, placing God at the center of our marriage will keep the husband and wife on the same compass of truth. God loves marriage, and He gives it to us as a gift (Proverbs 18.22). He desires for our marriages to stay intact (Matthew 19.6). When our marriage is solid, it allows us to do the good works that God has called us to.
A peaceful home is a respite from the difficulties of life (Proverbs 17.1). We want to do everything in our power to ensure the tranquility of our home is a constant, and this starts with a marriage that is based on mutual respect, care, concession and service. Once we experience the benefits of putting our marriage first, it will become a passion and priority for us.
Putting our marriage first also means we reflect and rejoice on the positive aspects of our marriage. When we hyperfocus on what we don’t like, it can cause strife and resentment. No wife or husband is perfect. We all have habits that may irritate others. However, we also have great habits that we should make the center of our thoughts. And if we made a list of benefits versus flaws, the strengths of our spouse can outnumber the weaknesses, and putting our marriage first will foster these strengths and continue them to grow.
Each day, we can pray over our marriage, highlight the beauty of our marriage and make our marriage a priority in our lives. Once we have the habit of placing our marriage’s needs first, all areas of life will benefit. Wife and husband are one flesh, and we can rejoice that we have another person to love and support us and be with us through the hard times and the good. Plus, we can always trust that God is the foundation of our marriage, being third cord that keeps our marriage strong.
“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4.9-12 NLT).
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